space
This blog should distract you
from the mediocrity of existence
for a good two hours.
it distracted me for many more hours
Choose your distraction:
sQuotes
Hilarity is the best thing for all forms of “life-ache”, especially boredom. I have hand-picked the finest Demetri Martin, Mitch Hedberg & Jack Handey quotes for your amusement, add your own, the Demetri Martin post has turned into a huge database of all of the funnies he ever made thanks to comments.
Visual amusement
I’m not a drug addict, I’m a “substance enthusiast”. As such, I have amalgamated some material on the following topic – pictures, experiences, ridiculous theories of the mind formed on hallucinogens and dissociative anaesthetics, that sort of thing. If you too are a “substance enthusiast”, or if you suffer from self restraint but want to know what it’s like, click below.
Drugs
I also have a few entries which are best described as “mind-vomit” – I touch type, and sometimes the effects of the aforementioned “substances” make me inspired and motivated to expel the contents of my brain into wordpress. If you want to see inside someone’s head, these may prove interesting, or terrifying, but definitely distracting.
Mind-Vomit
I’ve also written a few rants disparaging a wide range of things, which you will appreciate to the extent that you recognize the joy that can be derived from the mocking of imbeciles; do let me know if you are an insult connoisseur yourself. If you happen to be one of the dim-witted individuals that I rip on, I encourage you to comment if I have insulted you, for your remarks will no doubt unravel a new dimension of retardation on your part.
Mocking
I am trying to cure the stupidity of the masses, not just pinpoint and ridicule it. Mostly I attempt this in a structured “essay-like” form, only because that’s the best way to convey a coherent argument. Have no fear, they are not the tedious, mind-numbingly dry essays that educational facilities require one to churn out; they have a healthy dose of ridiculousness and inappropriateness, otherwise I would not suggest them as distractions from boredom but, rather, potential causes. I’ll put more up as I sift through my computer and find them, they shall be philosophy/psychology-based, with a particular focus on tearing down religion; they should interest someone who doesn’t just want to distract themselves from the shortcomings of life indefinitely; creatures who actually want to do something about the state of things, if they exist.
Essays
That’s about it, time for ye to go back to the tedium of reality.
Filed under: Distract yourself from the mediocrity of existence with | 3 Comments
Tags: amusement, boredom repellant, captain pinhead, cure for boredom, distraction, introduction
I found this in an old book; wouldn’t a video of this ridiculous behavior be most amusing? If anyone has seen a lizard like this, put it in next to a mirror, film the ensuing hilarity, post it on youtube then send me a link.
Also, I can’t believe people still think someone intelligent is responsible for the creation of animals despite this sort of thing. One need only look at Galápagos giant turtles trying to lay their eggs and then get back to the ocean to see that there hasn’t been any thought put into their existence at all – they barely make it (and look quite hilarious doing so – their size and weight makes it extremely difficult and awkward for them to maneuver around on land), but barely reproducing is all that is required of them, so they survive. If god was behind this, he would’ve made lizards knowing humans would come along and mess with mirrors and built in a system of recognition that would prevent such displays; he wouldn’t have made it so preposterously difficult for the turtles to reproduce, and he wouldn’t have made human beings so gullible that they’d believe anyone was behind any of it.
Filed under: Distract yourself from the mediocrity of existence with, Visual Amusement | 4 Comments
Tags: Aggression, Animals, funny pictures, Humor, Humour, Lizard, Religion, Ridiculing Religion, Ridiculous, Unintelligent design
Drug Addict?
To those who say I have a drug problem,
I say I have a drug solution.
To those that say I’m a drug addict,
I say I’m a substance enthusiast.
To those that say they care about me and want to help me,
I say… lend me money.
Filed under: Substance Enthusiasm | 5 Comments
Tags: addict, addiction, Drugs, fiend, Substance Enthusiasm
This is the bare minimum you need to know if you’ve decided upon taking nitrous but haven’t the slightest idea how.
Step one – purchase or beg to
borrow one of these:
They are sold in kitchenware shops, and on online; regular humans tend to refer to them as “cream whippers” or “soda siphons”. Nos-heads call them bulbalisers or simply, “machines”.
Older machines will tend to leak and taste like milk gone terribly wrong, leave freezing shards of the seal in your throat, etc; whilst the so-called “easywhip” makes it impossible to load quickly without injuring your hands. My machine of preference is actually a soda siphon, not technically a cream whipper – since the bulbs (nitrous and carbon dioxide) are the same size it works exactly the same, but makes re-loading easier, it’s the one in the below diagrams.
Step two – acquire some of these:
These can be found at most supermarkets, usually behind the counter, so just ask for “x boxes of cream chargers”[1]. If you get asked why you are buying them, tell them you’re making a big cake or something – they’re perfectly legal when used to make home-made whipped cream. If the supermarkets in your country don’t stock them, they can be bought online.
⇐ Soda chargers may look similar, but inhaling them will cause no fun whatsoever, instead making one gag and feel much pain.
Filed under: Substance Enthusiasm | 8 Comments
Tags: cream chargers, laughing gas, Nitrous, nitrous oxide, Nos, Substance Enthusiasm, tripping, Tripping balls - how to
Nos Necessities
What is absolutely Nosessary
Yes, there have been deaths attributed to nitrous, no, nitrous doesn’t kill you. Every single one of the deaths “caused” by nitrous has been indirect; a product of improper circumstances; preventable. Follow this simple list and avoid all danger (apart from the danger of not having a good time, for that you really need to read the second paragraph of this too).
✖ Don’t take it in enclosed, unventilated areas, because you could asphyxiate. This means you die due to lack of oxygen. Stay away from cars, unless they’re moving and the windows are open, and even then, stay away from them unless you’re inside one. Asphyxiation accounts for most ‘nitrous deaths’.
✖ Never use a bag to recycle your breath, never put your head into any kind of container, never climb into a garbage bag. If you must reuse your breath, use a balloon, for it will fly away when you’re out of it and leave you breathing normally.
✖ Never have anything in your mouth for you will no doubt choke on it (gum etc.).
✔ Ensure that your body is in a comfortable, balanced position (I.e. SITTING, never standing, and as close to lying down as sitting can get), where you don’t have to even hold up your own head, as close to the floor as possible, leaning back.
Filed under: Substance Enthusiasm | 3 Comments
Tags: asphyxiation, laughing gas, Nitrous, nitrous oxide, Nos, nosessary, Substance Enthusiasm, tripping, Tripping balls - how to
Nitrous Oxide cons and pros
If you’re concerned the dangers or negative outcomes of nos inhalation, or you can’t decide whether you want to take it or not, you’ve come to the right place.
Nitrous Pros
• Nos is ‘the drug drug’. The experience is fundamentally different to everything you’ve ever known. [1] It is a dissociative anesthetic, with the power to disconnect every association you have learnt, potentially giving you an entirely new perspective from which you re-interpret reality with every single trip. Whenever you think you know what to expect from a trip, it will surprise you.
• Nitrous oxide is a substance that is available over the counter. This means:
✔ You don’t have to deal with dealers to acquire it; no potentially dodgy meetings with shady characters. Buying it is legal.
✔ It’s pure, packaged, and untempered with.
✔ There have been no price mark-ups and dilutions by every dealer above you in the hierarchy, because there isn’t one. Continue reading ‘Nitrous Oxide cons and pros’
Filed under: Substance Enthusiasm | 4 Comments
Tags: Dissociative anaesthetic, hallucinogens, How to take nos, laughing gas, Nitrous, Nos, nos cons, nos pros, nosessary, psychonaut, Substance Enthusiasm, trip, Tripping balls - how to
If you eat meat and your attitude to preachy vegetarians is “shut your pie hole”, the short piece I’ve written below promises a sure-fire way to have an answer to anyone who tries to convert you. You may, in the process of reading it realize some things about your culinary choices that could help you become more aware of the consequences of your actions – the aim here is to provide anyone with the above attitude with a foolproof formula for repelling preaching vegetarians! Handy reading for anyone who is eating meat, and it takes a mere 5 minutes.
Are you sick of vegetarians pestering you about your decision? Tired of being called immoral for something you feel isn’t wrong? We have the solution. In just a few easy steps you’ll find a method that’s guaranteed to forever fend off all those pesky vegetarians. It’s simple. Just inform them that:
Filed under: Mind-Vomit, Things that may stimulate you in your brain-space | 6 Comments
Tags: animal cruelty, eating meat, ethics, life, mankind, meat, morality, morals, philosophy, thinking, vegetarian, vegetarianism
Filed under: Substance Enthusiasm | 6 Comments
Tags: Collage, hallucinogens, lizards, Magic mushrooms, Nitrous, Nos, psilocybin, seeing things, shrooms, slowing time, time dialation, trip
Nos Is…
The best depiction of nitrous times…
hmmm makes me Nostalgic…
Filed under: Substance Enthusiasm, Visual Amusement | Leave a Comment
Tags: Dissociative anaesthetic, laughing gas, Leunig, Nitrous, Nos
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Recent Entries
- DON’T COMMENT ON THE DEMETRI POST UNLESS YOU’RE ADDING A QUOTE TO UPDATE IT- for all other comments click here and I’ll direct you.
- Lizard Fears Self – A Rare Consequence of Aggression
- Drug Addict?
- How to take nitrous – Nos Inhalation 101
- Nos Necessities
- Nitrous Oxide cons and pros
- What captain pinhead can do for YOU
- Do you eat meat? Be prepared for vegetarians who will no doubt eventually try to guilt trip you – with my tested, foolproof “Vegetarian Repellant!”
- Travelling into one’s own mind with magic mushrooms
- Nos Is…
- Isolated thoughts
DON’T COMMENT ON THE DEMETRI POST UNLESS YOU’RE ADDING A QUOTE TO UPDATE IT- for all other comments click here and I’ll direct you.
If you have a quote that I have missed, or a new quote, feel free to comment on it the Demetri Quotes Post – it’s supposed to be a self-maintaining, growing collection of his works, updated by readers. Lately, there has been far too many irrelevant comments to this end – so here are the links to where you can talk about what I’ve noticed people talking about, apart from adding quotes. If you want me to make a new page because your comment doesn’t fit in any category, write it in here.
If you want to comment on how funny/attractive Demetri is or how much you want him in the pants, do it here.
And if you want to debate who the best comedians are and who is funnier than who, do it here.
If you want to say thank you for putting up the quotes or want me to edit something in an inaccurate comment that someone has quoted, let me know here – there’s no need to tell them, I can edit their comments myself, and if you want to tell them off for quoting incorrectly, email them or let out your hatred for that person by commenting here.
If you have a problem with someone on another post, or even a minor disagreement – especially on Demetri quotes; please stop clogging u the post let your hatred flow forth here. Or better yet, why not email the person you have a problem with directly?
I’m taking down the other comments from the Demetri posts, or at least trying to move them for you. I’ve been as reasonable as can be expected, please comply with this new rule, don’t make me set it to high security and make me have to approve every single comment individually, I don’t have that kind of time. I personally find this so ridiculous that it’s actually gotten funny, the fact that I have to do this.
Filed under: For Comments on Demetri that Aren't Quote Updates, Quotes | 2 Comments