Or, rather, more expensive, flashier and less restrictive pastures – at http://www.surrealisations.com. Whilst grazing there I plan to focus my writing more on issues of import – soon I shall be denouncing the concept of open mindedness, sharing a hilariously quirky piece of world news-related trivia that is bound to entice hearty chuckling and proposing a voting procedure that will make democracy run smoother whilst pointing out the bumps in its current path. And that’s just in the next week – I’m also expanding my mastery of programs from “word” and “paint” to also include “photoshop”, and thus I’ll be able to illustrate the quirky scenarios and such that have thus far been imprisioned in my scull. I shall also share some gruesome images of self-harm which have been censored out of wordpress and deviantart in the interests of bringing the behaviour out of the dark, dispelling ignorance about it and abolishing shame related to compulsive self-harming behaviours. I’ll be scanning olden images and juxtaposing them with incredibly inappropriate captions for the sake of our mutual amusement as well. For now, I’ve kick-started the other blog with this blog’s contents, though the about me has 200% more content and 10x more obstreperousness packed into it. Feel free to comment on the style, I’m fairly certain the font, though undoubtedly quirktastic, is too pompous to be read smoothly. Or perhaps the two complaining parties are too blame for either reading my words too roughly or their intolerance to obscure fonts.
The new blog will feature easier navigating methods, a system of internal links between similar articles that has the advantage of actual functionality as well as a categorising system which is highly superior to the oafish attempt I made to categorize my blogs as they were being created. No un ategorised material running hageldy-pageldy on your page, categorical overlapping only when posts fall into two distinct categories and not because the categories themselves are undifferentiated and similar – there are even sub-menus, instead of “sub-menu”.
To all my readers, past and present, I just wanted to say that I’m really looking forward to…
simply steer my body so I can avoid bumping into shit while I walk.
A taste of things to come…my first photoshopped creation! Clicking it links to the new site.
Filed under: Anti-Religious material, Distract yourself from the mediocrity of existence with, Mind-Vomit, Quotes, Substance Enthusiasm, The Joys of Mocking, Things that may stimulate you in your brain-space, Visual Amusement | Leave a Comment
Tags: agnosticism, atheism, blog, blog created using wordpress, domain, faith, following blindly quote, God, hosting, Jesus, justhost, new blog, personalizable theme, real blog, Religion, surrealisations, website, wordpress engine, wordpress.org
space
This blog should distract you
from the mediocrity of existence
for a good five hours.
it distracted me for many more hours
Choose your distraction:
Hilarity is the best thing for all forms of “life-ache”, especially boredom. I have hand-picked the finest Demetri Martin, Mitch Hedberg & Jack Handey quotes for your amusement – if I have missed anything important, comment and share your quote. The Demetri Martin quotes has turned into a huge database of all of the funnies he ever made thanks to comments; it’s aliiiivee….ALIIIIVVE:
Quotes
I’m not a drug addict, I’m a “substance enthusiast”. As such, I have amalgamated some material on the following topic – pictures, experiences, ridiculous theories of the mind formed on hallucinogens and dissociative anesthetics, that sort of thing. If you too are a “substance enthusiast”, or if you suffer from self restraint but want to know what it’s like, click below.
Drugs
I also have a few entries which are best described as “mind-vomit” – I touch type, and sometimes the effects of the aforementioned “substances” make me inspired and motivated to expel the contents of my brain into wordpress. If you want to see inside someone’s head, these may prove interesting, or terrifying, but definitely distracting.
Mind-Vomit
I’ve also written a few rants disparaging a wide range of things, which you will appreciate to the extent that you recognize the joy that can be derived from the mocking of imbeciles; do let me know if you are an insult connoisseur yourself. If you happen to be one of the dim-witted individuals that I rip on, I encourage you to comment if I have insulted you, for your remarks will no doubt unravel a new dimension of retardation on your part.
Mocking
I am trying to cure the stupidity of the masses, not just pinpoint and ridicule it. Mostly I attempt this in a structured “essay-like” form, only because that’s the best way to convey a coherent argument. Have no fear, they are not the tedious, mind-numbingly dry essays that educational facilities require one to churn out; they have a healthy dose of ridiculousness and inappropriateness, otherwise I would not suggest them as distractions from boredom but, rather, potential causes. I’ll put more up as I sift through my computer and find them, they shall be philosophy/psychology-based, with a particular focus on tearing down religion; they should interest someone who doesn’t just want to distract themselves from the shortcomings of life indefinitely; creatures who actually want to do something about the state of things, if they exist. Do your uni research, feed your brain or just plagiarize my work. Essays on Intelligent Design, Philosophy of Religion, Psychology, etc. The latter, research-helpful essays, though still pumped full of preposterousness, fall into a slightly different category. When deadlines start to loom, you might need to have quick access to essays mocking religion, questioning the bible and the like – click below. Note: some categories may overlap if something is relevant to both topics.
Essays
If you wish to read a fictional piece of ridiculousness about my Pseudonym, uncommon as it would be, the mighty Captain Pinhead insists that you visit this page, where he describes his bumpy career and unveils a new dinosaur.
That’s about it, time for ye to go back to the tedium of reality.
Hidden cos its the only way to seperate the front page hooters and boobuffallo
Hidden cos its the only way to seperate the front page, boots with the fur sucks
Filed under: Distract yourself from the mediocrity of existence with, Mind-Vomit, Quotes, Substance Enthusiasm, The Joys of Mocking, Things that may stimulate you in your brain-space, Visual Amusement | 6 Comments
Tags: amusement, boredom repellant, captain pinhead, cure for boredom, distraction, introduction
780 Boxes of Nitrous illustrating the fact that no matter how many boxes of nitrous you have, you will always want one more box. Letters are two boxes tall and each box contains 10 bulbs – all of them empty, of course. They had to be taken, drugs don’t store well and I didn’t want them to go off – not unless they were doing so in my system.
If submerging oneself in a bathtub full of something isn’t a sign of overindulgence, decadence and poor bathtub maintenance know-how, I don’t know what is. This one features the customary “make a face befitting the tragedy you are depicting” pose, dedicated to the photographer who refused to shoot me until it was stricken.
Filed under: Distract yourself from the mediocrity of existence with, Substance Enthusiasm, Visual Amusement | 2 Comments
Tags: addiction, art, bulbs, cream chargers, drug addiction, Drugs, gluttony, inhalants, installation art, nitrous addiction, nitrous oxide, nitrous oxide addiction, Nos, nos addiction
“I’d like to call my kid Ladies and Gentlemen: “This is my son, Ladies and Gentlemen.” Then, when he gets out of hand, I get to go, “Ladies and Gentlemen, please!”" – Louis CK
“I was licking jelly off my boyfriend’s penis, then all of a sudden I started thinking, “oh, my God, I’m turning into my mother…”
“I’ve got a baby niece and I can make her laugh so easy. You know what babies love? Ethnic jokes.”
“I guarantee, if you take a shower with your boyfriend, by the time you step out, your breasts will be sparkling clean.” – 3 jokes by Sarah Silverman
“Thank you all very much for not filming this on your cell phone. That has become the new scourge of stand-up = people sitting there thinking, “Well, I want to enjoy this…But now is not good for me. Later would be better. Later and smaller would be better for my schedule.” – John Oliver
“You all know Unlce Sam? He’s that goat-faced dude who dresses up like Apollo Creed. And he’s always pointing at you – he wants you…Is that really the imagery we should be listening to? An uncle who looks like he’s about to touch you? A touch uncle? Uncle Sam wants you…to keep a secret…” – Glenn Wool
“How do insurance companies know what is and isn’t an act of God? Do they have a hotline to God? Do they call him up?
God: Hello, God speaking, what do you want?
Gervais: Um, that volcanic ash cloud – was that you?
God: Yep. Yes that was an act of me alright.
Gervais: So we shouldn’t pay out?
God: No, don’t f*king pay them a penny, son.
Gervais: Brilliant. While I’ve got you here, did you make a tree fall on Steve Baxter’s car?
God: There’s a lot of Steve Baxters…
Gervais: Steve Baxter, 2 acacia Rd, Houndslow. It happened at 2.15pm on the 3rd of June this year.
God: 2.15? Third of June? No, that wasn’t me. I was in Africa that day giving AIDS to babies.” – Ricky Gervais
“I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure. “- Alan Sharp
“Why do people feel safe under blankets? It’s not like a murderer will come come in thinking “I’M GOING TO KILL…Ah darn, he’s under a blanket!” – Tweet by Peter Griffin
Filed under: Distract yourself from the mediocrity of existence with, Quotes | Leave a Comment
Tags: act of god, AIDS, blasphemy, comedians, Comedy, ethnic jokes, family guy, God, incest, ladies and gentlemen, new jokes, one-liner jokes, One-liners, peter griffin, ricky gervais, sarah silverman, stand-up, stand-up comedy, the cure, the office, uncle sam
Tattoo Slogan; Tattoo Ideas
Filed under: Visual Amusement | 1 Comment
Tags: Body Modification, Body Mods, Ink, sayings, slogans, Tattoo, Tattoo slogans, Tattoos
“Dualism…is the most common theory of mind in the public at large, it is deeply entrenched in most of the world’s popular religions, and has been the dominant theory of mind for most of Western history”
What is dualism in the philosophy of mind? What forms does dualism take? Two of the most significant problems with dualism are (i) the problem of brain functioning and (ii) the problem of causal efficacy. Explain what these problems are. Can any form of dualism overcome these problems?
The enigma of existence and mankind’s place in the world has raised a number of interesting and highly mysterious questions concerning the nature of the human mind. Since the time of ancient Greece, one of the principle problems for philosophers has been trying to reconcile the ambiguous nature of the human mind with the physical world[1]. While a variety of different theories exist, the most prevalent one throughout civilisation has probably been dualism, which was first formally postulated by Rene Descartes in the 17th century, although it no doubt existed subconsciously for many generations before that. This essay attempts to take a critical look at dualism and then enumerate some of the arguments for and against it. It will, finally, through a process of research-based extrapolation, suggest that a firm rejection of dualism is the only viable option to ensure the further development of the philosophy of mind.
Filed under: Anti-Religious material, The Joys of Mocking, Things that may stimulate you in your brain-space | 2 Comments
Tags: dualism, mind-body dualism, non-physical, philosophy, philosophy of religion, Religion
On happiness on mushrooms.
We don’t enjoy simple things as much as we should. We’re so wrapped up in the trivial, menial details of everyday life that we never stop to lay on the grass and stare at the clouds. Watching cartoons is ok, but it’s enjoying a set entertainment, prescribed by someone else. Watching clouds requires no money, no technology; clouds are never polluted by anyone else’s intention. They’re entirely open to your interpretation of them. Sure, when people ask you what you do for fun and you reply “stare at clouds” or “play with my kitties” they may not be as able to relate as if you were to reply “family guy, drugs, etc”. This is just because they don’t also enjoy such simple things; it doesn’t mean these things are not worthwhile. It just means you need new friends who you can relate to better. Staring at clouds is certainly a better 
way to pass the time than going to an establishment like [insert trendy pub/club] to spend time with inebriated, sweaty people who you deem “friends”. Sure you may like them, but you can’t even hear what they don’t have to say over the blaring music (which you don’t get to choose). You may have interesting conversations, but if that’s all because you’re on drugs, and you can’t even fully recollect the events of the night upon sobering, then how have you learned? It may be fun, but at what cost? Your brain, your time. It’s an empty enjoyment that will leave you with that same void in the end.
Change your perspective, change your priorities. If you’re unhappy, don’t whine about it and cover up the tears with drugs. Don’t escape it, actively work to change your reality so that it is no longer something that needs escaping. Drugs have their use, but they should always be the icing on the cake; never the cake itself. Happiness cannot be found in a gram of meth, a nos machine or a syringe. Happiness has to come from within, from a place so independent of the details of your life that nothing can shake it.
Treat life like a trip – don’t allow yourself to have a bad one.
Filed under: Mind-Vomit, Substance Enthusiasm, Things that may stimulate you in your brain-space | Leave a Comment
Tags: addiction, Drugs, life, Magic mushrooms, the meaning of life, watching clouds
Acid Trip
This is kind of what it’s like.
Filed under: Distract yourself from the mediocrity of existence with, Substance Enthusiasm | Leave a Comment
Tags: acid, acid trip, hallucinogens, magic mushroom trip, Magic mushrooms, mushrooms, trip, trippy
Hair colour predicament
I can’t make my own decisions anymore, you do it. It’s a 1-question survey by the way. CLICK ME
For the chance to choose from colours and obscure options like the below.
Filed under: Visual Amusement | 1 Comment
Greetings traveler of the web. My name is Aisia – that’s [ay-see-yah] and I’m going to teach you a thing or two about the difference between agnosticism and atheism (heads up – I will be exaggerating my point to highlight it) , and then convince you that you need not settle for either.
Atheism is still a theism: a leap of faith is still necessary to proclaim “i believe god DOES NOT exist” . Agnostics make the similar, yet distinct claim: “I DO NOT believe that god exists”(subject to change upon arrival of convincing evidence).
Formerly an agnostic myself, I explain its superiority over atheism thus: if, against all odds, Jesus rocked up and performed some ultra-mega-huge miracles all over an atheists house, they would be forced to close their eyes, blo
ck their ears, cork their bung holes and yell “lalala this isn’t happening” to drown out the conflicting evidence. An agnostic would be able to simply go, “Boy, I would’ve never have picked that one as the true one! Glad I waited before whoring my soul out to just any deity, Jesus, you’re the prophet for me!” and become a christian right then and there. Obviously, the rational choice is to suspend judgement – you would not want Jesus performing cool shit around you and your Atheism preventing you from seeing and enjoying it. Atheism connotes a degree of loyalty to the belief of the abcense of a god – faced with a jesus comeback, a true atheist will tend to question the evidence rather than his belief. He is likely to call Jesus an impostor and try to explain away this “impostor’s” miraculous feats and triumphs over the laws of space and time – anything to uphold his belief in an absence of God. An agnostic has no such irrational connexion with his status and would gladly trade it for another, were another to make more sense.
Continue reading ‘Atheism vs Agnosticism – or is there another way?’
Filed under: Anti-Religious material, Distract yourself from the mediocrity of existence with, Mind-Vomit, The Joys of Mocking, Things that may stimulate you in your brain-space | 5 Comments
Tags: agnostic, agnosticism, aiseism, atheism, atheist, belief, buy bull, faith, follow blindly, meditation, mocking religion, new religion, prayer, Religion
How to take nos
This is a photographic guide to taking nitrous. For a detailed look on what to do click here – and no, you can’t just look at the photos and wing it; there are diagrams and to be safe you have to READ THIS (same link as above; just repeating to get my point across.
If you’ve read the more detailed page, this is what your nos taking will look like from the outside:
1) Prepare thy stash – preferably in a manner where you can see it and it takes up as much of your field of view as possible. You want to feel bountiful when you start, and be prepared for the inevitable end.
2) Whip out your machine; preferably, it is your own and there is no sharing, plus you have gotten to know it and hallucinated some critters inside it, if you’re lucky. Below: the elusive Knight Ross Oxide and the illustrious Sir Nossalot have developed relationships with their respective machines because they are professionals and spend much time machine in hand. Also, they are weirdos.
Filed under: Mind-Vomit, Substance Enthusiasm, Uncategorized, Visual Amusement | 3 Comments
Tags: cartoon, dali cartoon, Drugs, How to take nos, inhaling nos, mushroom trip, Nitrous, Nos, nos trip, photos, surreality, surreality tv, taking nos, Tripping balls - how to, womp
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- On happiness on mushrooms.
- Acid Trip
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