This blog should distract you
from the mediocrity of existence
for a good five hours.
it distracted me for many more hours
Choose your distraction:
Hilarity is the best thing for all forms of “life-ache”, especially boredom. I have hand-picked the finest Demetri Martin, Mitch Hedberg & Jack Handey quotes for your amusement – if I have missed anything important, comment and share your quote. The Demetri Martin quotes has turned into a huge database of all of the funnies he ever made thanks to comments.
I’m not a drug addict, I’m a “substance enthusiast”. As such, I have amalgamated some material on the following topic – pictures, experiences, ridiculous theories of the mind formed on hallucinogens and dissociative anesthetics, that sort of thing.
UPDATE: I am awake from the depths of self-delusion and control by substances. I now live a healthy life and listen to my body instead of numbing it with substances. A few of my pro-drug rants remain up here – mainly ones to do with safety. I no longer advocate for the ingestion of substances; try exercise, eating right, Buddhism, meditation or breath work for lasting relief from plight! Drugs just postpone the woe.
I also have a few entries which are best described as “mind-vomit” – I touch type, and sometimes the effects of the aforementioned “substances” make me inspired and motivated to expel the contents of my brain into wordpress. If you want to see inside someone’s head, these may prove interesting, or terrifying, but definitely distracting.
Have no fear, they are not the tedious, mind-numbingly dry essays that educational facilities require one to churn out; they have a healthy dose of ridiculousness and inappropriateness, otherwise I would not suggest them as distractions from boredom but, rather, potential causes. I’ll put more up as I sift through my computer and find them, they shall be philosophy/psychology-based, with a particular focus on tearing down religion; they should interest someone who doesn’t just want to distract themselves from the shortcomings of life indefinitely; creatures who actually want to do something about the state of things, if they exist. Do your uni research, feed your brain or just plagiarize my work. Essays on Intelligent Design, Philosophy of Religion, Psychology, etc. The latter, research-helpful essays, though still pumped full of preposterousness, fall into a slightly different category. When deadlines start to loom, you might need to have quick access to essays mocking religion, questioning the bible and the like – click below. Note: some categories may overlap if something is relevant to both topics.
If you want to support me – I’m currently fundraising to afford rehab and heal. I aim to help others heal their addictions once I am done healing mine. Currently stuck on government-sanctioned opiates a.k.a. Suboxone! I’m cutting down at present and saving up – rehab is expensive!
Hidden cos its the only way to seperate the front page hooters and boobuffallo Hidden cos its the only way to seperate the front page, boots with the fur sucks
Filed under: Distract yourself from the mediocrity of existence with, Mind-Vomit, Quotes, Substance Enthusiasm, The Joys of Mocking, Things that may stimulate you in your brain-space, Visual Amusement | 6 Comments
Tags: amusement, boredom repellant, captain pinhead, cure for boredom, distraction, introduction
I’ve been absent from the blogosphere for a number of years, mostly thanks to life getting far more complicated than it ever was before, and me actually obtaining one. For about 6 years I was in a drug coma, during which posting little guides and rants on the internet was an amusing pastime, hence the bulk of this blog thus far. Having managed to not die during my shenanigans, I’ve now got a fairly different attitude towards most of the substances which I consumed, that ended up consuming me. Here’s my new and wiser opinions of the substances whose horns I’ve tooted in the past:
I ended up reaching a record of about 36 boxes in one night, and probably severely messing up my lungs in the process – after I set this record I lost my voice, and coughed non-stop for a number of days. If you’ve ever opened up a machine and run your finger through the inside, you’ve noticed the fine dust that accumulates inside – that’s probably covering my lungs right now. So if you must take it, pop open your machine and stick a cigarette filter in the tube inside (just make sure your machine has some sort of fine mesh between where you filter it and the mouth piece, otherwise that filter could end up wedged in your throat) and change it periodically.
But it wasn’t my extreme inability to control myself which finally changed my mind on the safety of nitrous – it was the findings of a high-tech friend of mine who bought an oximeter to actually test whether he was damaging his brain by starving it of oxygen while he was in nosland. Alas, his findings indicated that indeed, he was – though he was the paranoid type and refused to speak about any such things in detail over the internet. He claimed to have “rectified” this problem with the purchase of an oxygen generator, but at $700 that was a little unrealistic for me to buy in order to continue using nos, so I’m out.
On the bright side, I’ve discovered something much, much better than nitrous, which WON’T kill your brain cells by starving them of oxygen. It’s called DMT, and it is found in most plants, to some degree, as well as in our own brains. There is a brilliant documentary on it called DMT – The Spirit Molecule which gives you a good idea of what it’s like.
It’s been dubbed the “psychedelic bungee-jump”, and I agree the experience is a lot like being plunged into another realm. The hallucinations make everything which is already there extraordinarily beautiful, but they also create entities out of thin air – intricate, 3-dimensional beings which are continually moving and react to your every thought, and somehow seem MORE real than reality. In Terrence Mckenna’s words, you feel like you’re going to die of bewilderment when you’re on it. It’s definately a sit down and have neck support kind of drug, not a run around and try to do life kind of substance – even the simplest of tasks will lead you to complete befuddlement and incompetence, ie. changing the music or interacting with technology.
And no, DMT cannot be enhanced by taking it with nitrous. DMT is the most epic hallucinogen I have tried, and I feel it deserves respect – to mix it with marijuana, acid, nitrous, or anything, apart from actually lessening the effect of the DMT, is kind of like watching porn while having sex. It cheapens the experience. So Nos is out, and DMT is in, in my books. Though it deserves respect and is not a substance to be taken lightly nor frequently.
I’m not certain whether I ever actually mentioned that some of my rantings were amphetamine-fuelled, but oh, they were. I had adopted a mindset similar to that of the late, great musician Elliot Smith – ” a distorted reality is now necessary to be free”. I figured, if life was going to be so crummy, unfair and unfulfilling, I was justified in numbing myself a little to get by. That was only one of my excuses. After going to rehab 3 times (about 5 years ago now) and running away 3 times, something managed to seep in through my brain and I was no longer able to enjoy my debauchery while convincing myself I was doing what was necessary to survive. More on what happened with my love affair with meth and how I managed to quit later. Just, if you’re thinking about trying meth, don’t – it’s worse than pringles, once you pop, you can’t stop. You won’t even know that you want to stop- it hijacks your brain.
So that’s my post-drug-daze-days opinion of these things, and if anyone needs any help getting off of them, do let me know.
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Filed under: Anti-Religious material, Distract yourself from the mediocrity of existence with, Visual Amusement | Leave a Comment
“Then what is good? The obsessive interest in human affairs, plus a certain amount of compassion and moral conviction, that first made the experience of living something that must be translated into pigment or music or bodily movement or poetry or prose or anything that’s dynamic and expressive–that’s what’s good for you if you’re at all serious in your aims.” – Tennessee Williams, from ‘A streetcar named catastrophe’
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Tags: art, dance, expression, famous quotes, inspirational quotes, life, music, poetry, Quotes, tennessee williams, writing
780 Boxes of Nitrous illustrating the fact that no matter how many boxes of nitrous you have, you will always want one more box. Letters are two boxes tall and each box contains 10 bulbs – all of them empty, of course.
My previous stance on substances was that, as long as one uses them as the icing on the cake of life, and not as the cake itself, they are acceptable, even desirable. Upon further reflection I have come to realize that this is not the case. Although my mind was very good at justifying my own behavior to myself, I see now that with all drugs I was merely self-medicating. Escaping a deeper problem, or distracting myself from it. I no longer advocate for their use.
Filed under: Distract yourself from the mediocrity of existence with, Substance Enthusiasm, Visual Amusement | 2 Comments
Tags: addiction, art, bulbs, cream chargers, drug addiction, Drugs, gluttony, inhalants, installation art, nitrous addiction, nitrous oxide, nitrous oxide addiction, Nos, nos addiction
“I’d like to call my kid Ladies and Gentlemen: “This is my son, Ladies and Gentlemen.” Then, when he gets out of hand, I get to go, “Ladies and Gentlemen, please!”” – Louis CK
“I was licking jelly off my boyfriend’s penis, then all of a sudden I started thinking, “oh, my God, I’m turning into my mother…”
“I’ve got a baby niece and I can make her laugh so easy. You know what babies love? Ethnic jokes.”
“I guarantee, if you take a shower with your boyfriend, by the time you step out, your breasts will be sparkling clean.” – 3 jokes by Sarah Silverman
“Thank you all very much for not filming this on your cell phone. That has become the new scourge of stand-up = people sitting there thinking, “Well, I want to enjoy this…But now is not good for me. Later would be better. Later and smaller would be better for my schedule.” – John Oliver
“You all know Unlce Sam? He’s that goat-faced dude who dresses up like Apollo Creed. And he’s always pointing at you – he wants you…Is that really the imagery we should be listening to? An uncle who looks like he’s about to touch you? A touch uncle? Uncle Sam wants you…to keep a secret…” – Glenn Wool
“How do insurance companies know what is and isn’t an act of God? Do they have a hotline to God? Do they call him up?
God: Hello, God speaking, what do you want?
Gervais: Um, that volcanic ash cloud – was that you?
God: Yep. Yes that was an act of me alright.
Gervais: So we shouldn’t pay out?
God: No, don’t f*king pay them a penny, son.
Gervais: Brilliant. While I’ve got you here, did you make a tree fall on Steve Baxter’s car?
God: There’s a lot of Steve Baxters…
Gervais: Steve Baxter, 2 acacia Rd, Houndslow. It happened at 2.15pm on the 3rd of June this year.
God: 2.15? Third of June? No, that wasn’t me. I was in Africa that day giving AIDS to babies.” – Ricky Gervais
“I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure. “- Alan Sharp
“Why do people feel safe under blankets? It’s not like a murderer will come come in thinking “I’M GOING TO KILL…Ah darn, he’s under a blanket!” – Tweet by Peter Griffin
Filed under: Distract yourself from the mediocrity of existence with, Quotes | 2 Comments
Tags: act of god, AIDS, blasphemy, comedians, Comedy, ethnic jokes, family guy, God, incest, ladies and gentlemen, new jokes, one-liner jokes, One-liners, peter griffin, ricky gervais, sarah silverman, stand-up, stand-up comedy, the cure, the office, uncle sam
“Dualism…is the most common theory of mind in the public at large, it is deeply entrenched in most of the world’s popular religions, and has been the dominant theory of mind for most of Western history”
What is dualism in the philosophy of mind? What forms does dualism take? Two of the most significant problems with dualism are (i) the problem of brain functioning and (ii) the problem of causal efficacy. Explain what these problems are. Can any form of dualism overcome these problems?
The enigma of existence and mankind’s place in the world has raised a number of interesting and highly mysterious questions concerning the nature of the human mind. Since the time of ancient Greece, one of the principle problems for philosophers has been trying to reconcile the ambiguous nature of the human mind with the physical world. While a variety of different theories exist, the most prevalent one throughout civilisation has probably been dualism, which was first formally postulated by Rene Descartes in the 17th century, although it no doubt existed subconsciously for many generations before that. This essay attempts to take a critical look at dualism and then enumerate some of the arguments for and against it. It will, finally, through a process of research-based extrapolation, suggest that a firm rejection of dualism is the only viable option to ensure the further development of the philosophy of mind.
Filed under: Anti-Religious material, The Joys of Mocking, Things that may stimulate you in your brain-space | 4 Comments
Tags: dualism, mind-body dualism, non-physical, philosophy, philosophy of religion, Religion