My mother always told me I was special, and now I know why


“Airflow through the nasal passages is normally asymmetrical because of alternating changes in nasal resistance in each nostril… This nasal cycle has a periodicity of approximately 2 hours and is found in 80% of the population. The reason for its existence is uncertain. A simple explanation is that it permits one side of the nose to go through a rest period and recover from the minor trauma of conditioning the inspired air.”

Well, not too special, i just fit into the 20% that don’t breathe through one nostril at a time. You can test whether you’re in the 80% or the 20% by placing your fingers on your nostrils and seeing if both get sucked up into your nose when you breathe in. This exercise is also good excuse for being caught picking your nose. “Why, I was simply testing if i breathe through one or two nostrils, because (insert above passage from some medical site)”. Then people will think you’re very worldly and educated – a dramatic improvement from their original perception of you as a public nose picker. Seriously though, i don’t know why i can’t be a worldly and educated public nose picker. I think as long as I don’t fling the picked booger at anyone it should be at least as acceptable an activity as burping, tripping over or twitching one’s eye with a hint of madness.


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