Archive for the ‘Mind-Vomit’ Category

On happiness

11Dec11

We don’t enjoy simple things as much as we should. We’re so wrapped up in the trivial, menial details of everyday life that we never stop to lay on the grass and stare at the clouds. Watching cartoons is ok, but it’s ingesting a set entertainment, prescribed by someone else. Watching clouds requires no money, […]

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The Eventual Point of this Story: Today’s theory is that all dinosaurs came from a common ancestor who should obviously be named Hpothesaurus Rex due to the speculative nature of his existence. Here is what he may or may not have looked like. He had countless unique features, of which nothing is known for certain […]

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Being a Jerk can be incredibly fulfilling. By reading this article you are taking the first step to becoming a complete and utter Jerk with little or no regard for anyone but yourself. Upon completion of this basic training, you will be able to re-enter into society and “Jerk it up a notch” with your […]

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Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together… as this will assist the police officers who are about to arrest you  all. No matter what went wrong, she could always rely on one thing to lift her spirits – her hand. I’m really looking forward to…. to simply….prevent me from bumping into any more things. […]

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Once upon a time the world was a comforting place in which to live, for we human beings were able to embrace a worldview that provided us with endless flattery and ego gratification. The whole universe, we were told, had been created by God FOR US. We had been placed at the physical and moral […]

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The elementary easing of anxiety Instead of going to a doctor for anxiety, try buying Magnesium supplements. $18 for 100 pills. It’s not addictive, nor will it make you anxious like valium and xanax when you don’t have it. Magnesium relaxes your muscles. Imagine being in a really stressful situation, and instead of your muscles […]

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  We fur-challenged monkeys, with our superior opposable thumbs, designed clothes to keep our inferior weak bodies from freezing. Fat stores are reserves in case of future hunger, also working as a level of insulation to protect our organs from the harsh weather. These things kept our species alive through the ice age, when, as […]

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My first two words were “NO” and “gimme”. It seems not much has  changed since then, though my vocabulary has grown somewhat  bigger. In a nutshell, all I really communicate 60% of the time are  rejections of things and desires for things I want. 60% is of course a  purely random figure, speculated by me, […]

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Zine

04Sep09

So I made a little zine. It’s a tad silly to post it here, since part of the point of zines (from magazine – a magazine without the “maga” hugeness) is actually putting something DIY out into the world, in unlikely places like cafes, sprinkling the world with your writing, swapping with other writers – […]

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Bus tickets must be beings of uttermost confidence, for their sole function is to be validated. I think one of the most groundbreaking inventions of all time is the jackhammer… Food is the opiate of the massive. Following things blindly must be hard.

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