Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

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There was a fine line between right and wrong, until I snorted it. I need to develop some patience, immediately. I’ve never read an article of clothing. I mind my own business..and struck gold.

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Slacking off on original material, propagating the hilarity of others instead. Enjoy! “I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word ‘dude.’ ‘Dude, these are isotopes.’ ‘Dude, we removed your kidney. You’re gonna be fine.’ ‘Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank […]

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I found this in an old book; wouldn’t a video of this ridiculous behavior be most amusing? If anyone has seen a lizard like this, put it in next to a mirror, film the ensuing hilarity, post it on youtube then send me a link. Also, I can’t believe people still think someone intelligent is […]

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The best of the best of Stephen Wright’s Jokes* I can levitate birds. No one cares. I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone. I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. On the other hand, you have different fingers. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

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I order the club sandwich all the time, but I’m not even a member, man. I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, “Dude, you have to wait.” I went to the store, bought eight apples. The clerk said, “Do you want me to put them in a bag?” I said, “No, […]

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To me, it’s always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, ‘Hey, can you give me a hand?,’ you can say, ‘Sorry, got these sacks.’ We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can’t scoff at them personally, to […]

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